You told me you played alone at recess the other day…told me that it was because you were tired of doing what “they” wanted you to do. “Why can’t we take turns? Why does it always have to be their way?” I told you that friendship was about compromise. “I DO compromise. They don’t. And I’m tired of running around after them. What makes them so great?” You shrugged your shoulders and went back to your mashed potatoes.
I sat, completely in awe of you, chewing quietly on my salad, contemplating your words.
“I LIKE playing by myself, Momma.” And honestly, I can not fathom. Me, your Mother, who has never lived alone… who hates solitude. Until very recently, what THEY thought was of utmost importance to me.
I feel a surge of pride.
“That’s great, baby… that you have that confidence.” You look at me quizzically. I explain, or try to… “That you have the confidence to stand up for yourself. Someday someone will want you to do something that you know is wrong, and you will be strong enough to do the right thing.”
Like all Mothers, my mind begins the endless reel of “what ifs” that I have played almost daily since the day you were born.
“Oh. That’s already happened.”
My heart skips a beat.
“The other day we were playing tag and they wanted me to play rough. I told them no way.”
I smile… but still the reel plays on.
May you be wise enough at 12 to disconnect from the kids who will lead you down the wrong path.
May you be confident enough at 15 to try your best and be yourself, regardless of popularity.
May you be strong enough to know at 18 that loving arms should never hurt you.
May you remember your worth at 20 if a handsome smile is all too knowing, and pours you another drink.
May you find what makes you happy, seize it, and never let it go.
May you always rely on yourself, above anyone else… and may you always hear me rooting for you, even when some day it’s only from inside your heart. ❤